top of page

#CigarFuckery Case No. 011015

So, after a long day and evening of meetings and dinner with a client in Washington, DC, I headed to one of my favorite cigar lounges, Shelly's Back Room, for some "me time." I decided to sit in one of the deep plush chairs lining the wall on the left side of the lounge. I ordered a Bulleit bourbon neat and preceded to clip and light a Drew Estate Nica Rustica El Brujito. Upon doing so and gazing the room, I noticed a couple sitting at a table about 20 feet away towards the back near the bar. I found myself repeatedly looking at them because:

  1. They were both ugly and just looked odd together;

  2. The woman looked quite bored as she kept looking at her watch while slowly sipping on a glass of ice water;

  3. The man looked all too happy to be at Shelly's as he couldn't stop smiling with an empty dinner plate in front of him, a tall glass of beer, and his 10-count Xikar travel humi; and

  4. They were both ugly...

As I lit my cigar, I noticed he had just reached into the travel humi and pulled out another cigar (it was obvious that he had already had one based on the ashtray full of ash and a single nub) - yeah, I could see all of this from my vantage point.

So where is the #CigarFuckery in this???

By the time I was just about halfway through my cigar (which is about a 1 hour 15-20 minute smoke), this bastard had already smoked 2 large ring-gauged cigars down to the goddamn nub! And was about to light another until he apparently got the signal from his lady that she was done and it was time to go. He was smoking like a fuckin' chimney - with each draw, he kept inspecting the cigar like he had never seen it before, and it was back up to his mouth for another draw just as quickly as he exhaled the previous draw. Even cigarette smokers don't smoke like this. It was an atrocity!

Cigars are to be savored, with each draw being taken at a rate no faster than at least every 30-60 seconds, to permit the palate to be tantalized with flavors. Cigars are designed to burn slowly - smoking too fast will make the cigar burn "hot", completely ruining the flavor profile with putrid smoke. Not sure how this guy at Shelly's enjoyed his cigars, but that was truly a case of #CigarFuckery...


Have a case of #CigarFuckery you want to share? Let's talk about it! Hit me up at, on Twitter (@smokeasyblog), on Facebook (Smokeasy).

bottom of page